The sub-title of my blog, “Crawling into the Writing Mind of Steve Husk,” was inspired by a quote made by a former co-worker.
Back when my short story “Exhaust” first came out, the Senior VP of the company I was working for asked one of the business managers if he had read my latest literary offering; the manager showed a laughing grin and said: “No…I can’t crawl into Steve’s mind.”
I recognized the statement for what it was: a polite way of saying he had no intention of reading my story.
Here’s the tripped part: if I felt any feelings of disappointment or rejection after hearing that, I didn’t notice; I suspect they were overrun and otherwise unnoticed by my celebratory realization that his words weren’t too dissimilar from comments I’ve heard positively attributed to me several times before. I’ve actually had people tell me they checked out my works because they were intrigued by the challenge of crawling inside my mind to see what was going on in there. That sort of thing makes me smile.
Along those lines…I don’t know how many people will catch the difference between “writing what’s on my mind” and “writing what’s inside my mind.”
In my recent past, I feel as if I’ve been doing too much of the former. Reacting to what I see and what I experience with words that reflect. Most of those efforts delved no farther or deeper than where I already was. Not many of those efforts meant much to me once that brief wave subsided.
I have since challenged myself to get back to the latter. Expanding on my evolving beliefs and experiences with words marinating in passion and conviction. Even months after penning those thoughts, their flavor is just as mouth-watering to my soul.
To make this happen on a more habitual basis, I’ve been studying certain topics that demand self-evaluation.
Not many people are up for that kind of a challenge.
An essay I stumbled across dealing with the fear of failure tasked me to pick up a pen and write about how that type of fear relates to me. I discovered a few tidbits about my personality and my tendencies that I never really paid attention to before…which is probably true because, whenever I saw a dark corridor in my mind bearing a “Fear of Failure” sign, I went the other way. This time, I’m glad I crawled those few extra yards inside my own mind. Now, with my hands filled with acknowledgement and wisdom, I can stand back up and share something previously unknown or unconsidered with those who wish to take the challenge of crawling in here with me.